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  • Writer's picturedrmollybarrow

Relatives Go Crazy After a Death

Updated: Oct 5, 2019

What happens to relatives when someone dies? They act HORRIBLE.

Mourners begin to scramble for bits and pieces of whatever their loved one left behind. Often there is not a logical reason that your sister is ready to fight you over grandma's chipped vase! But, she is and it adds to the hurt.

This feeding frenzy is a desperate attempt to regain control when grief has struck a harsh blow. Division of property and the reading of the will needs to wait. The executrix/executor needs to streeetch the event for a few weeks. When grieving siblings feel slighted or forgotten, the pain is enormous, sometimes opening childhood traumas and perceived inequities by your parents or other family members.

Time heals all wounds, they say. After awhile you throw the chipped vase away wondering why you needed it so badly in the first place.

Slow down the probate and allow each other to stabilize.


Dr. Molly Barrow earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a licensed mental health counselor and educator in private practice. She is the author of the Malia & Teacup children's books, Matchlines for Singles; and Step Parenting Essentials. Dr. Barrow is a relationship expert helping individuals, couples, families, and co-workers improve their relationships and communication skills. Her commentary and advice column, quotes, radio show, interviews, and articles are enjoyed worldwide in O Magazine, Psychology Today,, Parenting, Morning Blend,, Progressive Radio Network and Women’s Health.

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